“You Gave Me Forever Within Numbered Days”
Happy beautiful Spring Tuesday. I hope your Easter was filled with friends, family, loving memories and nourishment.
John Green wrote in The Fault in Our Stars, “You gave me forever within numbered days.”
I speak and think about death a lot. I guess because of what I do for a living that is my occupational hazard. But the truth is helping you to know that there is evidence that your loved one is still very much around you brings this quote great meaning to me. “You gave me forever in numbered days.”
Our memories of our loved ones never leave us. They are instill in our hearts forever. All of our days are numbered. Why not make lasting memories. Reliving memories, traditions, pictures, stories and events, to me feels a lot better than reliving their death, illness and regrets. Feeling pain of loss is normal, living in it forever does not honor them.
I think of my mother’s personality when I read this quote. She would be absolutely heartbroken if I was stuck in her loss. I know she would rather I do something that honored her. I try to think what would make her happy and proud of the life she lived. Allowing her memory to live on with joy instead of constantly morning her death. She loved Easter. It meant the flowers and gardens would be blooming, sitting outside , opening the windows for fresh air to come in, family dinners and picnics. She was always smiling. They are my forever memories this time of year. I could be stuck in April. This is the month she was diagnosed with cancer passing in June. I remember where I was when I got the call. The doctor visits in April till her passing in June. The worst three months of my life. Instead, I cherish the 50 years she was my mother and the 73 years she lived. I feel I would be doing her misjustice if I looked only at it in the last three months. She gave me forever in numbered years.
She taught me to walk and talk. How to love and care. Those things are with me forever. She helped mold me into who I am today which lives within me, my children and my grandchildren; and someday their children and grandchildren. I’d like to honor her and continue what she started, what my grandmother instilled in her and her mother in her and so on.
Even if I was not a Medium, because of her actions and teachings, I would have known that I will see her again. If I stay stuck in grief of her last three months then it places a void in the 50 years of teaching, living and laughing with her. It places a void in her 73 years on this earth and all the things she did and the people she touched. She gave me forever in her numbered days. I feel it is my responsibility to give forever to others in my numbered days. If I live to be 73, that means I have 14 years left to give forever to others. I put that into perspective when I think about how quickly time passes. I have a 14-year-old grandchild. Those 14 years went by quickly. It seems like yesterday that all my grandchildren were babies, now the youngest one is 8. It goes quickly. That is my reality check. I have a lot to do in order to give my kids and grandkids forever in my numbered days.
Even though I miss her and selfishly want her here, I try to focus my thoughts on what she would want me to do in memory of her. To spread her love, joy and beautiful smile.
We can not escape our numbered days, but we can control what we do with them.
Give forever to those around you in your numbered days. So much so that your memory and actions stay with them forever, that they can share it for eternity.
Blessings,
Stacey
- You gave me forever within numbered days. - John Green
