Reflect

“Reflect upon your present blessings - of which every man has many - not your past misfortunes of which all men have some.” - Charles Dickens

Today we are going to spend some time talking about present blessings. The things we are grateful for today. Placing our focus on today. Steering away from the mistakes of yesterday. Being in the here and now helps us learn to focus on being present. Dwelling in the past declares defeat before our feet hit the floor in the morning. From the moment you wake up and step out of bed resolve to also get out of your head. Replace it by getting into your heart.

I have spent time in my head and time in my heart. I choose to try to live each day in my heart. I’ve learned that my head remind me of all the mistake I have made. While my heart shows grace, love and compassion for the lessons I had to learn. My head thinks in strategy and defense, while my heart just shows up for sending and receiving. There is a big difference in the way this sits in my body’s energy. How much different would our world be if we all chose to allow our heart to show up? The words clarity, unity and acceptance come to mind.

The very first word in the above quote is “reflect”. I tend to reflect at the end of the day. I think about and ask myself questions. What was the worst part of the day? Reflect… What was the best part of the day? Reflect… What could I have done better? Reflect… What did I learn today? Reflect… Remember, you are reflecting not dwelling. This should take no longer than 20-30 minutes, if that. If it takes longer, you are standing in judgement of yourself, which can lead to a tailspin in your head. You begin to dig yourself into a hole that can be hard to recover from. Thoughts that will keep you up at night. Reflect on present memories of things that went well, and the changes you can make to be better.

Now let’s dig into not only present memories but the memories of those who have passed. A lot of my clients comment on what they wished they had done. Dwelling on what you should have done defeats the memories of the actual experiences you had. After they pass, there is nothing you can change. Instead, turn that energy to the fond memories of what you accomplished together. The reason behind the book “My Head Knows…But My Heart Still Hurts” was to aid in creating a memoir of your life with them. Reflecting on the things they taught you. How, because of them, you are a better person.

We all make mistakes every single day, but there is good in all of us. Think about what you have accomplished, survived or created. Set your mind to think about the positive happy times. At my Father-In-Law’s funeral there was so much laughter. He was loved by so many people and they all wanted to share their Jerry stories. He was such a great and honorable man but his sense of humor and the way he could tell a story was a gift he was well known. He could draw you into the story so deeply, that you actual felt as though you were there. On a sad day, his life stories filled the room with laughter. We all reflected on his corky sense of humor. I know this made him happy to see all his family and friends reflecting on the happiness he brought us through his life. I learned a lot from the man who raised my husband. I even had the courage to speak at his funeral. I remember hearing story after story, and they warmed my heart. I was so thankful for the man he was because he taught my husband to be the man his is today.

Reflect.

Reflecting on my day, week, year or on my life, I do see my mistakes, but I focus on the growth. I’m no longer that person, but I am how I am because of that person I used to be. Who I was last year, last month, heck yesterday is different from the person I am today and tomorrow I will be a new version of myself. I reflect on how far I’ve come and how much I have yet to learn.

Reflect.

Seek out the blessings, even in the chaos. There is a cliche that goes, “count your blessings”. But, I wonder how many of us actually do. Promise yourself to place this habit into your daily life. Live through the heart and not in your head. I could easily spin out of control thinking about how I could have been a better mother. I’m not making excuses, but I was a different person then, with different responsibilities and struggling an array of things. I was different, my world was different, and the entire world was different. If I were to oscillate all the things I’ve done wrong, then I would be discounting the success and the growth my children have accomplished. They turned out great in spite of my short comings. They have each struggled with what life gave them, but they figured it out. And for this, I am so proud of them. I have instilled in them that I am only a phone call away and I will move earth and sky to help them. Funny, as I finished that sentence, my phone rang and one of my kids asked if I could pick up one of my grands at school who wasn’t feeling well. Of course, I break free from this blog to retrieve them from school. They are the forefront of why I want this to be a safe world from them. Even after all my mistakes, they know I will always be there for them and I strive to lead with love.

If you feel defeated or that the world is against you, I ask you to try to dig deep into your heart and find what you are grateful for today. Start with the small stuff If the big stuff seems unreachable. You can use these as an example until you find your own. You woke up. Maybe your coffee was exceptionally tasty. You left early thinking you needed gas but found you had a full tank and leaving early in the rain gave you a parking space upfront. The rain is such a blessing after a long dry spell and the last few days have been unbelievably nice even though it is the beginning of November. All these things may seem meniscal but they are blessings that are easily noticeable, even on the toughest days. Instead of being critical, my mindset is peaceful and I feel a change in my core just by searching these things out.

By practicing these few exercises, I reflect on the good things God has presented to me. With the calling I have been given, I strive to be able to help people process death. It is at the surface of my every day life but in this I also have been shown many blessings from the things I have learned from Spirit. These are the things I am able to share with my clients. These lessons evolve around the things we struggle with in their death. They have a greater understanding of their life. They do not wish for us to have regrets. There life does not end in their death. It continues to be kept alive in the memories we have of them. They are so very grateful that we are part of their story. And they will send us signs and guide us on our path. These are blessings they offer us.

We spoke last week about grieving a difficult relationship. Ponder this for a moment, maybe we can work on being grateful for the relationship because it taught us what not to do. Maybe, before we were brought into this world we said we would rather go through this than have someone else experience it. I don’t know, it is just a way of putting it into perspective when we question why these things happen to us.

Reflect, acknowledge, find gratefulness.

“Reflect upon your present blessings of whichever one has many- Not your past misfortunes of which all have some.” - Charles Dickens

The choice, the action belong to you. Live in your head or live in your heart. Take this small step and it can help you to live the life you love and love the life you live.

Blessings

Stacey

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