Fear
Les Brown said, “Too many of us are not living our dreams because we are living our fear”
Read that one again. That quote clicked something in my brain that said, yes, that’s it. We are living in our fear and that is what stops us from living our dreams. I seek to find clarity in why we stop living the adventurous life that we could be living. At the end of each show, podcast, email and reading I always say, “I pray you live the life you love, and love the life you live. If not change it".”
The big question is, why am I comfortable living in fear? Does it really hold us in a place of comfort? How can it, if fear places a big stop sign in front of our dreams? We have an action plan, then all of a sudden there is this tiny, doubting voice in our head saying, “where do you think you’re going? It’s scary over there and you are fine right here.” Sound familiar? We may respond by thinking, but my dream is this but I’m afraid of this outcome. Ask yourself, “What am I afraid of?”
Fear is an acronym for Fear Everything and Run or Face Everything And Rise. It makes me wonder, am I so afraid of death that I fear life? Mind-blowing right? I have a friend who dreams of seeing the world but she is so afraid of the possibility of getting into an accident. She only travels back roads and stays local. But she wants to see the world. This fear is stopping her. Do you dream of seeing your favorite artist in concert but the idea of being in a crowd makes you fearful and uncomfortable? We all have past experiences in our memory bank that can make us feel all relationships end terribly because we’ve had that experience. But your dream is to find a companion, get married and have a family. Do you live in the shadow of fear because of what someone else’s experiences? Does an illness run in your family, and your fear is that there is no escape, this illness will one day be yours as well? Being cautious, or having a plan, finding the tools to help you is one thing, but totally pulling out of the possibilities that this fate will not be yours is another thought you need to bring into your energy.
If you want to face it and rise there are steps you can take. It can be a slow process, but in the end, you will feel as though you have overcome this fear. Wouldn’t that be a great feeling? And I want to acknowledge fear is real. We can’t help it. We were basically born into fear. Think for a moment, we all were unborn babies nestled in a warm safe womb. Everything you needed was given to you. As an unborn child, you were floating in a warm space only hearing the soft muffled voices of your parents or others around them. Everything you needed was given to you by a magical cord that attached to your mother. You received food and nourishment, you didn’t need to breath because your body was being fueled by the connection of this magical cord. You were in a safe space no interference from the outside world. Then one day after 9 months of comfort, you were being pushed and squeezed down to a narrow tunnel. You’ve never been there so what is it, where am I going? Your little body is squeezed through a canal, the warmth of the fluid you once floated in suddenly is gone and there is this bright light that is foreign to your eyes. A being, a stranger pulls you out and up and cuts the only life force that you’ve known. Your body is cold for the first time and you are shaking, gasping for air, you cry and that sound is loud and unfamiliar to you. Something is touching you, wiping you off, wrapping you in something warm until finally you are placed safely in your mother’s arms. But this is a new unfamiliar connection to your life force. It’s new and you are adjusting to a lot of things in a short amount of time. When you look at it this way, it is no wonder we fear new things. The shock of the birth process although beautiful, when you look at it this way it’s like Mr. Toad’s wild ride. Although, exaggerated a bit, think about it. And when I was born, they used to slap the baby’s behind to get them to cry in order to put air in the lungs. So the first memory in this child’s life is pain. Oh my God, what have I just gone through?
I’m currently reading a book called “Fear” by Thich Nhat Hahn. In this book, he speaks about incorporating mantas into your daily life. Being mindful of others is second nature, it is putting into practice being mindful of what you need as well. To be mindful in the moment for someone you may say to them, I am here for you. Place your hand on your heart center and say to yourself, “Dear one, I am here for you.” When you care for someone the best think you can do is show up for them. Allow yourself to do the same thing for you. “Dear one, I am here for you.”
Show yourself recognition when you feel unseen or maybe you do not recognize yourself in a situation. Place your hand on your heart center and say will conviction and love, “Darling, I know you are there, and I am happy for you.” You are saying, I see you. I see you are growing or you are in there, don’t allow this situation to change who you are on the inside. “I see you, I know you are there.”
Are you suffering in silence? Feel like no one understands? Place your hand on your heart, “ Darling, I know you are suffering, that is why I am here.” This keeps you connected, validating your emotions but also saying but you are working through it. You are a miracle of life and understanding the suffering without judging yourself or others is overcoming the fear of the what if it gets worse. Instead of rushing the healing, and pushing it into a hidden part of your soul, feel it, acknowledge the feeling and offer love and compassion.
Sometimes, the feeling is more than we can handle alone. That’s ok, reach out and ask for help from a trusted friend or a trained professional. “Dear one, I’m suffering please help.” There is no shame in asking others to be your safe space.
These mantra meditations help to restore the peace and harmony within yourself. They are tools to help you overcome fear. They teach you how to defuse the ticking time bomb within yourself by inviting calmness to your otherwise frantic fear. Once you validate the fear you are beginning to heal. Add in breathing exercises to the mantras. Become fully aware of your breath and follow the flow. I know I am breathing in and out slowly. I am aware of how it feels. I am letting go of the fear as I breath in and out. Connect to the flow of the cool air entering your nostrils into your lungs as your chest expands and how it changes to warm air and your chest falls. You become aware of what your body needs. You are connecting and paying attention. All of a sudden you feel yourself start to calm down, be mindful of any tension in your body, usually the neck, shoulder, back or feet. Visualize releasing breath into these areas and you exhale any tension you may feel. Take note of things that bring you joy, how you feel. Feel that joy and breath it into the tension. Make a list of if you want and focus on the list. You are inviting joy into your energy. Ponder the thought of I feel joy as you are breathing. Recognize, even though I feel pain or fear, I also feel joy. Embrace that fear, “hello fear, anger, anxiety. I am calming my mental thoughts of you. You no longer have power over me.” Be present for you. “My darling, I did not go anywhere. I release the fear and resolve to have faith in myself and release it. I know the fear is within me, but my faith is my dreams is stronger.”
I had a client in the other day who said that she always braced for the what ifs and now she is embracing the possibilities. When you brace yourself, your body gets tense, you push back and wait for impact. But embracing, you are leaning in, inviting in the feelings of love and good intensions.
It may not all be sunshine and roses. Things may bubble up from the root cause of the feeling. Change your perception. You are no longer your fear, you have released your fear. Change the dialogue in your mind to “May I be peaceful, happy and a light within my body.” or “May I feel safe from harm or illness.” or “May I feel free from anger, jealousy, anxiety.” These are but a few ways to change your perspective. Your intension is “May I live my dream and break free from fear.”
I urge you to not miss the thousands of moments of joy in your life by dwelling in fear. You decide, living your dream or living in fear. We all should want to live the life we love and love the life we live. Kick fear to the curb and dream big my friends.
Blessings
Stacey
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